The Ocean and Me

Diamond-BeastOne step into the water.

It’s so COLD.

It doesn’t feel friendly at all. Not at first. But I wade in trying to be brave.

The ocean scares me. It’s the waves. Here comes one now. Right at me. A diamond beast that grows larger and larger; louder and louder, roaring at me. It’s an arm that stretches the entire length of the strand, it’s skin blue and green studded with fire fueled by the sun. It’s hands are white foaming claws that grab and scrape at the sand, fingers crawling up higher and higher onto the beach, until they finally exhaust themselves and drag back out to their beautiful, blue, drowned existence.

But they were looking for me, those clawing hands and curling fingers. They’ll think it’s funny to drag me out there. They’ll steal my bathing suit top and laugh and laugh at me. They’ll clean out my sinuses with sand and salt and say, “See what good we’ve done you?!”

So I’m careful. I’m so very, very cautious. I watch the waves to see what sort of mood the sea is in. How strong or angry or mellow or mischievous is she feeling today. How many big boisterous waves can she make before she gets tired and has to rest for a few beats. I watch her and wait for my chance to slip in quietly between one tumult and the next to dip my browning old carcass into the shocking salty cold that changes my perception of the universe. Eases me. Erases me. Washes me in the timelessness of salt water and fish offal and the pee of countless beachgoers and the immensity of the endless ocean that dissolves it all, dilutes everything. Including me. So that nothing matters so much. Nothing so much as floating and watching. And getting the hell OUT before she grabs me with those strong, strong, groping, grasping, foamy hands and rolls me like a washing machine into a better self.

Literally JUST got back from two weeks in the company of the aforementioned beast and managed a studio day today. Now, assuming 20 hours of drying time will be sufficient, I send this out into the world to try and entice you to come and have a look. You’ve probably never seen a seascape from me.  I don’t think I, myself, have. But these days, who remembers.  Maybe you could just come and help me with that … remembering … day after tomorrow:

Saturday, March 10  3-5 PM
Studio Gallery 234
780 Woodberry Road
York, PA 17403


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RussulaQuiltedGr_150Mushrooms are weird. Sure, I eat them but I think I like looking at them more. I mean, they’re fungus. Which is gross. But then … gross things are, kind of by definition, fascinating; like zits and scabs, … politicians … never mind …

Aaaanyway, hey, did you know that mushrooms are actually about 9 billion years closer to being animals than plants? True fact. Except it might be 9 million rather than billion … can’t remember exactly. And they’re in LITERALLY EVERYTHING! Without them, life as we know it would be over. And apart from their fascinating scientific qualities they also have a reputation for being mystical and magical; perhaps because of how they pop up so quickly out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly, their sporification of the world seemingly a chance and random occurrence, their shapes so familiar and iconographic yet some of them so completely alien-looking as to have been conceived on another planet.

We eat them and they nourish us or kill us or take us on religious journeys through our subconscious. These days they are even credited with the ability to keep us from aging and curing diseases like cancer.

Quiet things: mushrooms; so silently living their little lives. Coming and going without a whisper, sometimes barely clearing the loam to peek out for one short day in the leafy dark of the woods. They can seem insignificant, yet they’re monumentally captivating, even to such notables as Lewis Caroll, Shakespeare and J.K. Rowling. And, of course, the lowly mushroom is ever the poster child for all of us, who have, at one time or another, felt like we were ” kept in the dark and fed horse shit.”

Ah, the humble mushroom: invisible … enchanting … life altering … disgusting …

For what they’re worth, here are six of them:

Indigo Milk Caps, green and red Russulas, and some Amanita Muscarias.

I found them in the woods. They made me happy.

You can see them in person (always better in person) at Studio Gallery 234 in York, PA; this Saturday, November 18 from 3-5 pm; along with myself, some lovely gnosh and a bunch of other mushroomy individuals bent on creativity and discreet social gracelessness.

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It’s the eve. The eve of things all Fall and Fairy. And despite three evil spells and a hex laid on our transport plus a disturbing hitch in the git along of someone’s vainglorious glamour, we are transported and constructed and all is made ready for a fun full weekend; with tents raised, banners flying, instruments being tuned and tested, warmed up by the bonfire.

Excitement is putting itself to bed now, mustering itself for great adventures tomorrow. Before too very long …come the early hours, …there will be mysterious, mouth watering smells sifting through the misty moisty morning tempting sounds of waking from sleepers, sretching limbs, a little creaky from today’s labors. Then with a delicious hot beverage and some hot buttered toast with rose petal jam, we are primed and ready for a couple of days of more fun than usual. It’s the fairy fair. The goblin market. Time to stretch your supernatural legs and flex (or find) wings you always wished for.

So bust out your bodacious finery … or come and find some new finery here. Find your fire, your fancy, your smile. Find feasting for your eyes, your belly and your heart. It’s fall. The colors are warmer. The air is drier. And there is magic in the air. Magic for you. It’s here and we’re making it specially for you. Can’t wait to see you!

Wild Hawthorn

@ First Ever Spoutwood Fall Fairy Festival

Camp Ramblewood, Darlington, MD

October 14 & 15

10am – 6pm

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New Hats

Hats: costumes for your head. You can completely change your entire identity just by changing your hat! Come and see if I have a hat for YOUR identity! Or for your secret identity! Or for the identity you want to become.

WildHawthornBannerDotsnberriestransp at Spoutwood’s Fall Fairie Festival
Camp Ramblewood, Darlington, MD.  October 14th & 15th

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Magic Potion

MagicPotionsSMThis is a completely innocuous, madly potent, over-the-counter cure for itchy bits like poison ivy, poison oak, mosquito bites, etc.

This is a home remedy.
It is NOT guaranteed.
NOT FDA approved,
NOT tested at NIH,
NOT sterilized or irradiated.
The bottles are old.
They were washed.

If any of the above is scary to you, (or if you’re allergic to any of the following ingredients) please do not use this potion. I’m sharing it only by popular request.

Ingredients: Alcohol • Witch Hazel • Jewel Weed • Plantain • Lavender Essential Oil (also available without Lavender)

WildHawthornBannerDotsnberriestransp at Spoutwood’s Fall Fairie Festival
Camp Ramblewood, Darlington, MD.

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New Hoods

Not referring to the criminal element, nor city neighborhoods.  Talking about the head covering, the cowl, the amice, the snood. I love hoods. They’re the warmest, the coolest, the most versatile and verasimilitudinous. You can layer them, hide in them; wear them in the rain, the snow, the wind, the desert; formal occasions, casual occasions, criminal occasions. And it’s impossible to have too many of them! So here are some new ones to get excited about.

WildHawthornBannerDotsnberriestransp at Spoutwood’s Fall Fairie Festival
Camp Ramblewood, Darlington, MD.

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Fairie Food or Fairie Festival Food

LynneCake smHere at our first ever Fall Fairie Festival, there will … of course … be festival food aplenty.  And while I don’t know the exact particulars, I am, committedly, in fantasy mode about mass quantities of deep fried, cheesey, melty, breadalicious, savory, sweet, high calorie, guilt ridden comfort food being trundled toward me in wheel barrows.

HOWEVER, thanks to Lynne Jones and her Dryad Delights ( there willLynnePastriessm also be some incredibly creative and insanely festive Fairie Fantasy food as well: cakes and pastries to delight the eye and give the appetite grand ideas but without any calories or high blood sugar or GMO’s or gluten or dietary misgivings of any kind at ALL!! Made of the most scrumptious looking inedibles with enough amazing mimicry to make your stomach rumble. You have GOT to come by and get some for yourself!! But here’s just a taste to whet your appetite.

Look for our banner!
at Spoutwood’s Fall Fairie Festival
Camp Ramblewood, Darlington, MD.


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